EL DIARIO DE YUNA ♥

because I'm twentysomething

when i was thirteen, i couldn't wait to be eighteen. i thought i'd know it all by then - have all the answers and that price freedom. and when i was sixteen, i planed to be married by age twenty-three, with two kids. i'll always smile to myself when i think about how time changes things. and when i turned twenty three i made a list of as many goals as i had in years. by my 24th birthday, i'd accomplished them all.

and a funny thing happens about the time you turn twenty-four. people start asking about marriage and kids and houses. and you begin to worry about savings, retirement, and health insurance. and sometimes you start to compare your 24 years with anyone else's. you wonder if you're on the right tract because it's different from all the people you're surrounded by. you start going to your friends wedding and buying baby gift for second birthdays. and suddenly you realize you're at the exact age that seemed so far away just five years ago.

i've always liked including myself in the 20 something category. growing up but not quite grown up. you're an adult, but still recognize that you're part kid. i've enjoyed the navigating of adulthood and all of my new first time experiences. a new job, my first "grown-up" paycheck, growth, being old enough to buy a car. but it seems like the older i've gotten, the more aware i've become of my short-lived stay in the 'twenties' and the pressure to fit the mold of all of the rest of the twentyfourist.

i started to think about how easy it is to become controlled by our age. and the expectation of what your age signifies to everyone else. how old you should be by the time you graduate, buy your first house, get married, have kids, start your retirement. suddenly it seems like there are all these benchmarks to meet, even when they don't match the goals you're trying to reach.

forget molds.

because as easy it is to forget, you're free to do what you want with your life. the problem is, that can be quite the responsibility, to live your life the way you want to, rather than the way you are expected to. especially if that means taking a big jump. and especially that jump may feel like a free fall. maybe quit your first job and go back to school if that feels right. get married or don't. maybe you drop out of school or chop off your hair. maybe you change your mind. end a relationship that no longer serves you. become a different person. maybe you move away or move back home. or maybe you're scared to do all these things because it is uncomfortable and unexpected. maybe it's because you don't know if anything would fall into place or you scared what that would mean if it did.

and when you're in your twenties, i hope you buy a plane ticket to paris. i hope you get lost wandering all of the streets. i hope you travel the world and read lots of new books. i hope you have interesting conversation over cups of tea. i hope you drink out of mason jars while dancing barefoot on the grass. i hope you go party and do something crazy. set goals and change them. quit your day job. i hope you don't do any of these things or you do them all. write a book. change your mind. start new friendships and let go of the one that you need to. say goodbye to all of the things that have kept you on stagnant and vow to keep moving forward.

i hope your fifties mean going back to school or starting yoga. i hope your fourties include falling in love with someone new- a friend, child, or partner. i hope you stay up all night laughing with your friends. and when you're thirty, learn something new. i hope your life is one of wisdom and youth, adventure and old age- no matter what year it was that you were born.

but what i really mean to say is that i hope you aren't held back because of a number. and that you don't rush into things because it feels like time is slipping by. i hope you do what's right for you. hold on. slow down. and breathe in. your age is your age. but more importantly, your life is your life. don't change your journey so that it matches someone elses. we need to walk different path so the whole world can be explored. revel in the differences. and enjoy where you are.

here. right here.

Love,
Yuna ♥

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Lengthen the fuse

I've been thinking about writing this blog post for two days now. in fact on a semi-daily basis i sit down on my bed with laptop on my lap, hot chocolate at hand, with the intention of writing. and then i get side tracked. side tracked by the endless internet information that so easily lures you away from where you intended to go. side tracked by the sleep that lulls me in at the end of the day. and side tracked by the other efforts i'm investing my energy in. but at the end of the day, what this mostly means is that my daily choices are not leading me closer to my long term goals.

and what i know is that inaction does not lead to progress, completion, or results.

i've been making an effort to go to hot yoga lately. i've found that while i work to challenge my body physically, i've also been strengthening my mind through this practice. there is something about strenuous posing and deep breathing that really works for me. but mostly i like the fact that each time i go, i get something different out of it and learn something new about myself.

self-discipline has been on my heart this week.

first, you should know that i am a beginner at yoga (level 1). secondly, you should know that i am only be able to attend the level 2 yoga class. literally and figuratively, i'm stretching at each class and challenging my flexibility. during last class, my yoga instructor prompted us to find the discipline within ourselves that would allow us hold a difficult pose for just a little longer, that strength and drive that would see us through the challenge and to the next moment. throughout the class he encouraged us to find and develop that discipline on and off the mat. and while i understood how discipline is defined, it took a lot of reflection before i understood what it means for me.

i believe discipline is what moves you forward from one step to the next after motivation has wore off. discipline is what keeps you going long after you wanted to stop or giving up. i think that discipline is about that internal struggle you experience when deciding between short term satisfaction and long term accomplishment. i'm the kind of person that generally runs off of motivation and inspiration. but as i train a half marathon, work towards a healthier lifestyle and continue to accomplishing career goals, i've learned that progress can be slow. i've found that despite how much i want to succeed with these endeavors, short term gratification can easily get in the way. but i'm also learning to remember that my behaviors are choices.

i've learned that the part of the reward of crossing the finish line is the journey you take to get there. and while motivation may be the flame that start the fire, discipline is the fuse that keeps the internal drive burning. for me, it's all about lengthening that fuse. not letting the fire burn out before i got to see how far i can go. i often wonder how far we'd all get if we never gave up, if we all got to that exact place we've always hoped to reach. if we all tried our hardest every single day to get there. i'd like to think we'd all be smiling, glad that we finished and grateful that we persevered. and while i continue to work on developing this discipline, i'm also working on being mindful of my behaviors.. paying attention to what my actions are saying about the direction i'm headed. i've been asking myself if what i'm doing now is getting me to where i wanna be. and i'm learning to take that deep breath in and push forward, onward, upward.

yoga or not, i hope you find it too. i hope you have a goal you are working toward and i hope you see it through to the end. i hope your motivation gets you started and that your self-discipline helps you to finish. i hope you remember that challenges built strength and personal growth comes from pushing yourself beyond the previous limitation you set for yourself. and on days that are harder than others, i hope you look for that internal drive and remember what it is you are working for. and on the days that you are ready to give up, i hope you put one foot in front of the other with faith that you will get there soon.

whatever it is that you are working towards, i can't wait to see you cross that finish line and celebrate the journey you've taken to get there.

Love,

Yuna ♥

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Because I continued...

Morning everybody,

I was sleeping early last night so I am up very early this morning and decided to update my long forgotten blog. for a while, I ran out of motivation to update my blog.

I am not sure why really, at some point it felt pointless and almost silly. and at other times i convinced myself i was 'too busy' or that i had 'other things i should be doing.' I still had the motivation to make my days meaningful, but i was lacking the desire/ will-power/ motivation/ energy to write about it.

And then I realized that, that is why goals don't accomplished and dreams are not achieved. because people stop. because they give up. because they make excuses for themselves and allow minor distraction to get in the way of long-term successes. sabotaging your personal efforts can sometimes feel nice for the short-term at least. and by this, i mean that eating those brownies or skipping out on that work out can sometimes feel better than sticking to that healthy new lifestyle (the harder of the two options). sometimes it is more appealing to not create opportunities for yourself or accept the ones that come your way because you would rather stay where you are than begin to feel uncomfortable. comfortable is nice of course, but i believe that what we all need is to feel uncomfortable. when i think back to the times in my life when i felt most nervous and anxious, or back to the times when my challenges and situations felt too difficult to handle, i realize that i am also thinking back to some of the most amazing times of my life. i was scared to go to a new state without knowing anyone and with no friend or family nearby. and i was stressed out about changing my major and career to one that i felt more right. i was too stubborn to let go of my anger towards another person, but i found forgiveness to provide the greatest relief. among others, those moments-those scary, uncomfortable, challenging, and difficult moments- are the one that i attribute to shaping my life, to making me a better person.

To put it simply, persevering when you really don't want to, does not sound like a lot of fun. what i realized during my blogging break was that the mentality i had for my lack of blogging was similar to the thoughts i was having in regard to my healthier lifestyle and other goals i had established for myself. i reasoned that it didn't matter if i went to the gym and that i deserve to eat not one, but two desserts for dinner. i also came to the conclusion that i could only do things if i was motivated to do them. i was wrong.

Later, i decided that i didn't need to feel motivated. what i needed to do was get up and go to the gym. search for job. clean the room. eat healthy food. write those thank-you notes. what i needed to do was stop stopping. sure, motivation helps, but who says that you always have to be motivated to eat healthy. why not just pick the healthier option? why not put on your gym clothes, walk to the gym, and do it anyways? why not pick up the pen and fill out that job application? start now and let the motivation come later. and even if it doesn't come, start it anyways.

In the last 23 years of my life i found that if you give up, you are selling yourself short. you know what it is you need to achieve, and the excuses you make for yourself are only preventing you from getting there. try to see past that. keep your final destination in focus and appreciate the journey you take to get there.

Persevere and see what happens. i am glad i did. :)

Love,
Yuna ♥

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Love who you are

Hey You,

Yes you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating you body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things you wouldn't be you. And you would want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates you because you are happy with yourself then stuff them. Your happiness will not depend on others anymore. Say to them, "I am happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me, me. And that "me" is pretty amazing."

Always look your best, be respectful, and love yourself. xoxo

Love,
Yuna ♥

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Gossiping

Hola Everybody,

Today I wanna talk about gossiping..

I know people like to gossip. It's just in human nature because we're given a mouth so we just like to talk talk talk. This isn't just about girls but even guys can be gossip queens! I sometimes gossip too =.=. There is just something addictive about gossiping. I don't know how you guys define gossip, but to me - I see gossip as 'discussing about other people'. I don't mean in a positive way either. As girls, we love a good banter but just how innocent is 'innocent gossiping?'.

I really try to discipline myself these days to not gossip because I realised it's unhealthy and hmm.. a bad habit. I've distanced myself from some friends because I realised their gossiping nature wasn't good for me. I started to see behind the gossip and I realised that their negativity was starting to spread on to me. When you spend enough time with a gossipy person, you will eventually gossip too. You've heard the saying, people who gossip to you will gossip about you right?

I used to love reading celebrity magazines to find out the latest scandals. Why are we so freaking nosy? It's none of our business. I don't know, maybe it's our way to distract ourselves from our dull lives. We stick our noses into situations that's not even the slightest bit related to us. You know what guys? There used to even be blog sites that I used to visit. Not frequently, only occasionally if I am really bored (I'm not talking about the forum site by the way, I don't visit that place for sure). I'm not even fond of these websites. They are childish, judgemental and simply put- unhealthy for us. They discuss the lives of other people and make horrible assumptions. I couldn't stand what I was reading but yet, SOMEHOW I would find myself on that site a month or two later. There are things that I learnt about gossipy magazines/websites/gossipy friends:

When you talk bad about a person, you actually spread the negativity. So a person can originally like a person but after being told something about that person, he/she could suddenly change their mind about them.
It's an unhealthy habit. It even starts to change how you view yourself. When you do it enough, you can even become resentful.
It's not as innocent as you think.

So these days, when I know I'm about to say something that could come off negative. I just tell myself to shut up.
Now, if somebody upsets or angers me. I try very hard not to share it to others. Believe me, it's tough but I know it's for the better. I know if I do talk about it, I will just end up making this person sound like an absolutely ass for the sake of my comfort. I would just be looking for the listener to agree with me. I don't want to give in to my pride if this is the case. In most cases, I end up being more frustrated anyway so why do I bother? After all, you may love gossiping but you wouldn't like it if you were being gossiped about right? If you're just going to talk bad for the sake of talking, then maybe it's better to keep quiet instead.

I will just focus on myself, my friends and my loved ones. I don't want to be nosy and I don't want to be the reason for sharing negativity. I don't even want to read/listen to negativity either. There are so many more things in life that matters and entertains me.

So now I look back at some of my friends who are still resentful and bitter. I had a friend who is actually a lovely girl but she has so much resentment for an ex-friend of hers. She would stalk her photos on Facebook and send me the 'bad pictures' just to tease her makeup or how she does her hair. She feels better pointing out other people's flaws but she has no idea how the resentment is eating her heart up by the minute. With so much resentment in her heart, there isn't room for joy. I eventually drifted from her because we ran out of topics to talk about. I no longer wanted to hear the gossiping and I payed no attention to the negativity. I confronted her and told her in the kindest way that she needs to change her view in things or she will just continue to hurt herself. She told me to calm down and it was just harmless. I know it's not harmless. She was trying to spread the negativity. She didn't get it.

To people who are being gossiped about
Hey, you're not alone. You can't control what others say but you can control how you choose to deal with it. Sometimes, people can't help the way they are and you have to accept that you might not be able to change how they think. You might as well just go ahead and do the right thing yourself rather than waiting because they may never actually do the right thing . You can just stay true to yourself and focus on your family, friends and loved ones. These are the people's opinions who should matter. Remember "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"- Dr Seuss. Don't let yourself be defeated on other people's opinion and certainly don't suffocate yourself trying to live on people's expectations. If people can't be happy for you- you go ahead and be happy for youself ^_^.

So the jist of this post is, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all". Before you enter yourself into a world of gossip, ask yourself if what you're about to hear/read good for your soul and heart? How does it make you feel knowing what you are reading/listening can hurt to others?

Focus on yourself and try to not be so distracted with other people's business. The minute you stop gossiping and being distracted from the world of gossip- you will seriously feel you are more happiness in your life. Not only will you do the World a favour, you will also do it for yourself. Keep smiling guys!

It's late already, guess I'm gonna catch some TV series before go to bed. Good night guys..

Love,

Yuna ♥

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Holiday Plan ♥

Good Evening EVERYONE!!

Hola guys.. I'm now sitting at the corner of KFC accompanying my boyfriend and his friends studies for their final test. I've got nothing to do, so I decided to do some blog post about my holiday plan. Two months ago my cousin came up with this Java tour for 10 days and I wasn't so exited about that though cause I was planed to go to HK with my sister. We planed it since last year BUT it is all gone now because she didn't get good result on her exam so my Mom won't let her go and I couldn't find anyone who wanted to go to HK on this coming holiday. They all set up with their plan. My cousin told me just to go on the tour with them but I miss my parents so much that it hurts, and because the last time I was home I didn't spend much time with them, I was busy going out with my friends. So I decided to go home instead and maybe plan some weekend getaway with my parents to Singapore or Malaysia. I told my Mom about the idea and she said yes! ♥

So I was searching about airplane tix to Batam 2 weeks ago, and holly gosh!! The tix price was freaking damn crazy expansive! Ckckck.. >.<

It makes me think twice about going home, then again, my cousin and friends asked me to join the tour. The most important fact is, the last stop will be at Bali, yes BALI! I've never been there before, but I heard that it is soo beautiful. Not only Bali though, the tour will stop at many places that I always wanted to go, such as Borobudur and Bromo. I've seen photos of Bromo and it was breath taking. It makes me think about joining the tour, so I asked my parents and they said its up to me. If I feel like going then go have fun with friends, but if I don't wanna go, then just go home. Easy right? Yeah easy but it bugging me. I really wanted to join them, but on the other hand, I wanna go home. DILEMMA! But I gotta make up my mind and I choose to join the tour! Finally huh..

Well, I have such an AWESOME DAD, he sponsored me for the tour. Thank you Dad, I love you so much, and also my MOM of course, I LOVE YOU MOM so much! ♥

Well since everything is set up, now I cant wait for this coming up holiday. Hope there wont be any drama during the tour. I hate drama!

Alright, I guess this is all for tonight. And I'm gonna share photos of the places that I will go soon.

Bali!! Can't wait to go there ♥

Borobudur ♥

And finally the breath taking Bromo! ♥

It is just some random photos that I got from google, will definitely post the real one when I come back from the holiday! Stay tune guys. Talk to you soon xoxoxo ♥

Love,

Yuna ♥

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Rafting, Paintball, and FUN!

Hello helloooo Everyone, I'm BACK!

Can't believe its been almost a year, yeah a YEAR since the last time I posted on my blog.

Well, I've been soo busy drowned by work lately. Working life is not as fun as I thought. Gotta stay at the office from 9-5 and I freaking don't like it, but what should I do, it is what we called DUTY! No matter what, we should or we must work after graduated right? And just FYI, it is 1.51 am and I have to work tomorrow but I couldn't sleep because of this bloody headache, so I decided to type a new blog post about my current out bond.

Three weeks ago, I was attending Lively Angelloura Chan's (my new born little cousin) full month dinner or I could say it was a family gathering dinner. So all the family in Jakarta was there and I was seated with the cousins. One of the cousin Wilson Chua asked if we would like to go rafting on thursday, and I said I can't, I need to work, and the others said YES. I was sooo dying to go actually, but what should I do? So I just gave up and never even think about that. Then 2 days before the day Ce Pia (Da Sao) asked me if I'd like to go, I said of course I do, but I don't know how to tell my boss to give a day off. And she helped me to asked the boss and he said yes, yeah YES! Can't thank her enough. I was soooooo HAPPY!

And here it comes the day, it was 21 of us - the boy friend, brother, sister, cousins, and friends. Anyway the place was located at Suka Bumi, and it tooks 4-5 hours of ride to get there. So we woke up very early and headed to Suka Bumi at 5am and reach there around 9am+. When we reach there, they told us that we can't get the 9km rafting because the water level was under normal standard. Of course we were disappointed, we only could get the 5km one. Well we decided to play paintball first, it was my first time played paintball and I was sooo exited! And it was totally FUN! I'd love to play it again for sure. Alright not only did I had fun but all of us had. Even thought it was pain when we got shot, some of them even bleed, we still had the fun. After the paintball session, we had our lunch which was not so yummy, but since there are nothing more to eat and we were starving, so it still taste good in anyway.. LOL

Okiee, the lunch was finished and we get to rest about 15-30 mins and then RAFTING time! Yeeeey ~

It was my second time rafting and I was still so exited. Because the water lvl was under standard, so the capacity of the boat could only contain 4 person included the guide. I was on the same boat with my boy friend and cousin. =D

The rafting was okay I think, and the guide, got the best guide of all, he was the leader, so it was fun on his boat. And here we were at some point of the river which was no rock and deep. The guide asked us to stand up and said we were going to play some game, so we stand up, but we didnt even get a chance to do anything, he throwed us down to the water, yeah we got fooled! But still it was fun.. HAHA

And the rafting session ended just like that. So here we were waiting for truck to take us to the base camp, we gotta take a good shower. And here it came the FUNNER time of the day. The truck came and we got in and you know what?! The truck driver drives just like roller coaster! It was even funner, more exciting, more adrenalin then the real roller coaster did! LMAO! So we reach at the base camp, took shower, and we decided to get KFC as our dinner and then go home and have a good rest.

End of Story -

Well I'm going to share some photos, ENJOY! XOXOXO =D